I also breastfeed. My youngest is almost 3 months old and my 2 year old just weaned. So, if you add it up, I have been nursing and having someone all up in my business for the past 30 months. I’m a bit of a hippie, and believe that a baby will wean his/herself when they’re ready. In the mean time I pump when I can’t be home to nurse.
If you know me, you see me carrying around my “sexy” Louie Vuitton bag with my pump stowed away, ever so neatly. Hey, a girl's gotta be stylin', even if it's her pump bag.
I was at work the other day, pumping as usual. I was doing ml routine….TPC. You know how Jersey Shore has GTL [Gym-Tan-Laundry]? Well, I have Text-Pin-Creep.
What’s this, you ask?
I catch up on my texting. These days, this is how my clients communicate with me. Sometimes it’s a pain, but it works out well when my pump is laying down some sick beats. They don’t have to hear it and visualize my nipples being sucked into the horns and looking like caterpillars.
After I text everyone, I get my pinterest on. Oh Pinterest, how I love thee!!!! If I had all the time in the world, I would spend it doing all of the cool-ASS crafts and baking, all of the thigh thrashing meals that I pin.
Lastly, once my texting and pinning is complete, I do a little Facebook creeping. I scroll through and even read all of the lame-ass posts. “I just cleaned my kitchen!” – really? You want a friggin' gold star? I especially despise the song lyrics. Seriously people?
While I was getting my TPC on, I noticed a warm sensation on my lap. My bottles were overflowing!!!! I don’t know about you, buy I cry over spilt milk. I scrambled to turn off my pump and salvage as much as I could while I sobbed and sobbed. It spilt on my lap, the chair I was sitting in, and on the floor. I was very tempted to wipe the puddle off the floor and squeeze it back into the bottle. I quickly came to my senses, remembered I was, in fact, in a salon and decided that wasn’t a great idea.
I managed to clean up my mess, but I had a lovely wet spot on my jeans. I got to spend the rest of the day explaining to my clients what it was and why it was there. I’ll be more careful next time I TPC while pumping!