I'm Naya

Mama & wife. Breastfeeding advocate & IBCLC candidate (October 2017). Makeup junkie & wannabe fashionista. 

I write about breastfeeding, motherhood, and style. 


This was originally shared on  my Instagram account


This is how it felt. Sunshine and lightness seemed far away and barely there. The heavy, cold, and dark obscuring the warmth. I don't remember when it started. I just remember sadness and anger. The people I love walking on egg shells because the slightest thing could trigger the Rage. It is uncontrollable with a hair trigger. I'm not proud of it. The hurt I caused to my loved ones by yelling and saying things I did not mean.

 I have spotty memories of the first few months of my last baby's life. All I remember is being angry and crying and hating. I can never get them back. I have photos that I'm not in. I have a preschooler that still seems afraid of me. I have a marriage I am still trying to fix. But I have an almost 1 year old that still lights up when he sees me. He has been my everything through this. I need that baby as much as he needs me.

 I feel like I have a year or more to make up to my family. But I made it out of the fog and the darkness. The rage is under control. The heaviness has dissipated, but I know it can envelop me again. I work extra hard to make sure it doesn't - precious time alone, exercise, therapy, reaching out and admitting I need help. I don't want to go back there. I don't want us to go back there.

A Love Letter to Cold Medicine

My Mom Uniform: Ladies That Brunch